Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
