Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
