what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need water and some morals
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
