alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
