We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
