I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just tell him i said nine months
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's never too late to be topless.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
