How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just gift wrapped bread.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
