So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
