I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
