I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
