I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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