Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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