My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
