dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
