Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
