I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
