Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
