u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
