He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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