went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
