This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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