You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
