how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The beer is more important than you right now.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
