I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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