I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
