They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
