There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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