i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
