I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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