My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
