this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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