She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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