Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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