:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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