The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
