I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
even my farts smell like vagina
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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