yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
