A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
