you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
