That's intense
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
