our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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