He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
