So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
