Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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