Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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