stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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