In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
