Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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