even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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