: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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