Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
