I think my vagina is haunted
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
this is an emotional support booty call
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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