im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
